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Being Curious, Not Judgmental: A Christian Perspective on Relationships

by J. Carleo on March 09, 2025

In a world quick to judge, we're called to take a different approach. The wisdom of being curious rather than judgmental isn't just good advice - it's a biblical principle that Jesus himself demonstrated throughout his ministry.

Why Do We Judge Others?

Often, we skip over asking questions and jump straight to judgment. Sometimes these judgments come from assumptions about how people look or act. While we all want others to assume the best about us, we don't always extend that same courtesy to others.

What Did Jesus Say About Judging Others?

Jesus provided clear guidance about judgment in Matthew 7:1-2: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged." He wasn't saying we should never make decisions or practice discernment - rather, He was warning against condemning others.

The Plank and the Speck

Jesus used a powerful metaphor about trying to remove a speck from someone else's eye while having a plank in your own. The message is clear: before attempting to correct others, we must first examine and correct ourselves.

How Can We Practice Curiosity Instead of Judgment?

    • Pause before making assumptions

    • Take ownership of our thoughts and attitudes

    • Ask questions instead of making statements

    • Listen with the intent to understand

    The Ask, Seek, Knock Principle

    Jesus provided a framework for approaching relationships:

      • Ask: Be intentional in your questions and prayers

      • Seek: Actively pursue understanding with purpose

      • Knock: Respect boundaries and timing in relationships

      The Golden Rule Reimagined

      Jesus took the traditional teaching of "don't do to others what you hate" and elevated it to "treat others as you wish to be treated." This proactive approach calls us to initiate positive interactions rather than simply avoiding negative ones.

      Building Meaningful Relationships

      True relationship-building requires:

        • Earning the right to be heard

        • Speaking truth in love

        • Showing respect and dignity

        • Understanding timing and boundaries

        Life Application

        This week, challenge yourself to:

          • Before making any judgments, ask yourself:

            • Am I being curious or judgmental?

            • What questions could I ask to better understand?

            • Have I examined my own heart first?

              • Practice intentional curiosity by:

                • Asking meaningful questions in conversations

                • Seeking to understand before forming opinions

                • Showing respect when others aren't ready to engage

                  • Reflect on these questions:

                    • Where in my life am I quick to judge others?

                    • How can I bring peace into someone else's chaos?

                    • What "planks" in my own eye need addressing?

                    Remember, transformation happens through God's power, not our own. As we enter seasons of spiritual growth, let's commit to being people who choose curiosity over judgment, understanding over assumption, and love over condemnation.

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